


Missing

by Isis



Category: Sesame Street (TV)
Genre: American Politics, Gen, Horror, Political Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:47:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isis/pseuds/Isis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the <a href="http://moetushie.livejournal.com/611280.html">Comment Meme from Beyond the Grave</a>, for the prompt: "One day, the Grouch doesn't come out of his can. Big Bird lifts the lid to check for him, but all he finds is a long, dark tunnel. And stairs..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing

"Oscar! Oooooscaaaaar!"

A faint echo greeted Big Bird: "Oscaaar-caaar-aar...." A faint echo, and a rather smelly breeze. No sign of the Grouch.

He'd started feeling uneasy when Oscar hadn't stuck his head out that morning. By lunchtime, he was beginning to get really worried. He decided to ask Bert and Ernie if either of them had seen Oscar, but nobody answered his knock on their apartment door. He went to Cookie, and the Count's Castle, but again, nobody seemed to be home. Asking questions, he knew, was a good way to find out things - but what did you do if there was nobody to ask? Sesame Street seemed deserted. It was downright eerie.

He peered down into the trash can. A flight of stairs led down into who knew where - way too spooky, thought Big Bird, and he slammed the lid down!

But Oscar was missing. Everyone was missing.

Taking a deep breath - as much to savor one last lungful of the sweet air of Sesame Street as to muster up his courage - he opened the lid, stuck first one long leg and then the other into the can, and began to descend.

As the circle of light receded behind him, he got more and more scared. He remembered that he was supposed to sing a happy song to keep from becoming scared, but somehow it seemed way harder than it ought to be, and he couldn't get past "Happy to be..." (because he was NOT happy to be him, he was TERRIFIED) and pretty soon he stopped trying.

It got darker and darker, and soon there was no light at all. It was as dark as...a very dark place! Big Bird was getting really scared. But just as he was about to stick his head under his wing and start to cry, he noticed a faint glow ahead of him. He hurried toward it. It was getting lighter!

"Oscar? Are you there? Cookie? Ernie? Anyone there?"

He thought he heard a faint reply, and he hurried toward it. Soon he saw another flight of stairs - this one leading upward, toward the light.

"Oscar?" He ran as fast as he could toward the stairs, and then up. There was a hole at the top, and he poked his head up. "Oscar? Are you here?"

The axe came whistling across his neck; the last thing he saw was his own headless body toppling out of the hole, and red, white, and blue banners with pictures of stars, and elephants, and names he couldn't read but seemed to start with the letter R. And the last thing he heard was a voice:

"That's the last of the Muppets, Paul. Now, on to Jim Lehrer!"

**Author's Note:**

> Written shortly after the 2012 Presidential Debates. In case it's not obvious, [I'm referencing this](http://www.thenation.com/blog/170409/mitt-romney-declares-war-big-bird#).


End file.
